Halloween is just around the corner, and what better way to celebrate than with a collection of the best skeleton jokes & puns?
Whether you’re gearing up for Halloween or simply in the mood for some laughs, this blog post is packed with clever skeleton puns and funny Halloween jokes that are sure to leave you in stitches.
Whether you’re planning a spooky-themed party or just looking to tickle your funny bone, these bone will add some humor to any occasion.
Looking to add some humor to your haunted house this year? Before you dive into these bone-chilling puns, be sure to check out these Backyard Haunted House Ideas your kids will love for even more spooky fun!
We’ve dug up 100 hilarious bone puns for Halloween and beyond:
What store do skeletons love to snack at when they visit the mall?
Cinnabone.
Why didn’t the skeleton go to the party?
Because he had no body to go with!
How do skeletons communicate?
They use a tele-bone.
How did the skeleton know it was going to rain?
He could feel it in his bones.
What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house?
The living room.
What kind of pasta do skeletons enjoy eating the most?
Elbow macaroni.
What type of candy sent the skeleton to the hospital?
Jawbreakers.
Why didn’t the skeleton rob the bank?
Because he didn’t have the guts.
Why did the skeleton go to the barbecue?
To get another rib.
What do you call a skeleton who you don’t like?
A bonehead.
How did the skeleton know it was going to rain?
“He could feel it in his bones.”
What do you call a skeleton who stays out in the snow too long?
A numb-skull.
Why did the skeleton cross the road?
To get to the body shop!
How do you make a skeleton laugh?
Tickle its funny bone.
What do you call a skeleton snake?
A rattler.
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
How do skeletons text with their friends?
They use their cell-bone.
Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts.
What’s a skeleton’s favorite kind of sandwich?
Peanut butter and bone-anas.
What do you call a skeleton detective?
“Sherlock Bones.”
What’s a skeleton’s favorite instrument?
“The trom-bone.”
Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
“They don’t have the stomach for it.”
How do skeletons say goodbye?
“Bone voyage!”
What’s a skeleton’s favorite snack?
“Spare ribs.”
How do skeletons listen to music?
“They use their ear-bones.”
Why was the skeleton always calm and collected?
“Because nothing got under his skin.”
What do you call a skeleton who won’t help around the house?
“Lazy bones.”
Why did the skeleton go to the doctor?
“Because he was feeling a little “skully.”
How do you make a skeleton laugh?
“Tell it a “humerus” joke.”
What’s a skeleton’s favorite board game?
“Operation.”
What did the skeleton chef say before the meal?
Bone Appetit.
Why did the skeleton go to school?
“To improve his “skull”astics.”
What do you call a skeleton who acts in movies?
“Skelebrity.”
How do you help a skeleton on Halloween?
“Throw it a “bone”.”
What’s a skeleton’s favorite horror movie?
“The Bone Collector.”
Why did the skeleton go to the art gallery?
“To see the “skull”ptures.”
How do skeletons keep their bones together?
“With a “rib-bon.”
What do you call a skeleton that won’t stop lying?
“A phoney-boney.”
Why did the skeleton go to the comedy club?
To see the “funny bone” in action.
Why did the skeleton break up with his girlfriend?
She had no “spine”.
How do skeletons make decisions?
“They “skull-culate”.”
What do you call a skeleton who throws a great party?
“A “marrow”-velous host.”
What do you call a skeleton who tells jokes?
A “humerus” comedian.”
What do you call a skeleton who’s a great chef?
“A “skull”-inary genius.”
Why did the skeleton apply for a job at the bakery?
“He wanted to be a “roll” model.”
How do skeletons get into their house?
“They use a “skeleton” key.”
\What do you call a skeleton who’s a great athlete?
“A “bone”-afide champion.”
What do you call a skeleton who thinks it’s so cool?
“A “hip”ster.”
Who’s the most famous skeleton detective?
Sherlock Bones, of course!”
“What’s the skeleton’s preferred express delivery service?
The Bony Express!
“Why is a skeleton’s favorite kind of plate?
The ‘bone china’.
“What’s a skeleton’s favorite type of plant?
A bone-sai tree! (or bone-zai tree)
What’s the coolest part of a skeleton?
The hip bone, of course!
Why can’t skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
Why did the skeleton become a chef?
Because it loved to marrow-inate its dishes!
“What’s a skeleton’s favorite type of art?
‘Skull’-ptures!”
“How did the skeleton manage to escape from prison?
It made a ‘marrow’ escape!”
Where do you imprison a naughty skeleton?
A rib cage
What do you call a skeleton who rings the doorbell?
A dead ringer
Why can’t a group of skeletons ever get anything done?
It’s a skeleton crew.
Why does a skeleton always tell the truth?
He wants tibia honest.
Why did the skeleton start a fight?
He had a bone to pick.
Why was the skeleton so lonely?
He had no body.
Why did the skeleton finally book his vacation?
He had cabin femur. (“cabin fever”)
Why was the skeleton a minimalist?
He preferred a bare bones style.
Why don’t skeletons like to see blood?
They don’t have the stomach for it.
Why couldn’t the skeleton get out of bed?
He was bone tired.
Why didn’t skeleton want to go swimming?
He was already bone dry.
Why are skeletons such bad liars?
Everyone can see right through them.
What don’t skeletons mind windy days?
It goes right through them.
What is a skeleton’s favorite inspiring phrase?
Carpal diem!
What does a skeleton use to cut through objects?
A shoulder blade.
What is a skeleton’s favorite rock song?
Bone to be wild.
Why did the legless skeleton always lose the argument?
He didn’t have a leg to stand on!
What did the skeleton say to his doctor?
I have a femur!
Why did the skeleton become president?
He was a natural bone leader.
What was the skeleton doing at the hockey game?
Driving the zam-boney.
Why didn’t the skeleton laugh at the joke?
Because he didn’t have a funny bone.
How do French skeletons say hello?
“Bone-jour!
What did the skeleton say to his girlfriend?
“Will you marrow me?”
Why didn’t the skeleton play football?
His heart wasn’t in it.
What did the skeleton say to her boyfriend when they broke up?
You’re dead to me.
Why do skeletons hate the cold?
It sends chills up their spine.
What is a skeleton’s favorite mode of transport?
A scare-plane.
What’s a skeleton’s favorite jazz instrument?
A sax-a-bone.
What’s a skeleton’s favorite rock band?
The Grateful Dead.
What kind of fish do skeletons like to eat?
Carpals.
What’s a skeleton’s other favorite rock band?
Bone Jovi.
Why couldn’t the police arrest the skeleton?
They couldn’t pin anything on him.
What do you call a lie told by a skeleton?
A little fib-ula.
What did the skeleton say to his wife?
I love every bone in your body.
What job on a construction site is best suited to a skeleton?
Cranium operator.
Why do skeletons drink so much milk?
It’s good for the bones!
What do old skeletons complain about?
Aching bones.
What kind of birds do skeletons like?
Sea skulls.
Why did the little skeleton pretend to be sick?
He didn’t want to go to skull!
What did the skeleton say to the bartender?
“I’ll have a beer, and a mop.”
What name do skeletons call each other when they make mistakes?
Bonehead.
Where did the skeleton keep his pet bird?
In his rib cage.
Who is the King of Rock and Roll for all skeletons?
Pelvis
What indie rock band do teenage skeletons love the most?
Bone Iver.
There you have it— the best bone puns we could find, all in one place.
We also put together a list of hilarious skull puns.
Whether you’re sharing your favorite puns at a Halloween party, adding a touch of humor to your decorations, or just indulging your love for puns, we hope you have a very Happy Halloween!
Happy Halloween!
What’s your favorite bone pun? Share it with us at hello@mkewithkids.com.
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Calie Herbst, Editor-in-Chief of Milwaukee With Kids, has spent over a decade combining her experiences as a parent of three to create a hub for Milwaukee’s family adventures.
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